What is resilience really?

And how can we tap into it?

Contemplations

What gets you through hard times?

What resources do you draw from?

***

I’ve been thinking a lot about resilience. What is it really? How do you cultivate it? Is resilience the idea that you are able to move through adverse moments in your life? If so, how is it different from survival?

Merriam-Website defines resilience as: the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.

When I went to go look at what folks are saying about resilience, I often found unsatisfying answers on what this idea was, how it’s formed and how we develop it. (Even the psych community is talking about it and doesn’t really have a general consensus over this. If you want to nerd out, take a look at this abstract from a few different perspectives on resilience.)

There’s also many different frameworks of thinking about it, rooted in the following:

• Competence

• Confidence

• Connection

• Character

• Contribution

• Coping

• Control

Not to Be All Buddhist About It But…

As I continue to tap into the western thinking and study of resilience, I know that one of the ways I tap into my own resilience is understanding the teaching behind impermanence.

This is a core and “unshakeable” teaching in Buddhism, understanding that nothing is permanent, everything has cycles:

Change is always both good and bad, because change, even when it is refreshing, always entails loss.

Impermanence is not only to be overcome and conquered. It is also to be lived and appreciated.

The happiness that spiritual practice promises is not endless bliss, endless joy, and soaring transcendence. Who would want that in a world in which there is so much injustice, so much tragedy, so much unhappiness, illness, and death? To feel the scourge of impermanence and loss and to appreciate it at the same time profoundly as the beautiful essence of what it means to be at all—this is the deep truth I hear reverberating in the Buddha’s last words. Everything vanishes. Practice goes on.

As I move through some tectonic shifts in my life, I am comforted by this idea; it is keeping me sane, grounded and reminding me to live and appreciate being in the present if it feels unbearable some times. But I also know that this moment will end, just like all other moments before it.

I am reminded of this by Brother Peace, who wrote the song “It Won’t Always Be This Way” after both his parents tragically died from suicide. He wrote this song for them, and for all who suffer with depression. I share this with you because it’s been a balm for my heart and soul and hope it is for you as well.

May we all be happy, safe, and free from sorrow and fear 🙏

Let us be well 🙏

Let us present 🙏

Let us be free 🙏

I want to know:

What gets you through hard times?

What resources do you draw from?

Lyrics:

It won’t always be this way

Will you live, dear, another day

And give yourself

One more honest chance

Life isn’t stone, it’s a flowing dance

And seasons change

It won’t always be this way

It won’t always be this way

And if you’re struggling

To find meaning in this world

You’re not alone, dear

Let’s watch miracles unfurl

Shifting sunsets

Golden mountain light

Pools of water

Iced from winter nights

And all is blooming

It won’t always be this way

It won’t always be this way

It won’t always be this way

Everything that is must come to end

So enjoy now

This perfect day

Things are changing and your broken heart will mend

If you need me

I’m right here inside of you

You can find me looking deeply at the moon

Feeling in-breath

Filling belly up

Healing out-breath

Let life fill your cup

Enjoy this moment

It won’t always be this way

It won’t always be this way