This is 38.

How my birthday is a reminder that transformation is possible in just one breath 🙏

Took me three decades but I'm finally rocking the overalls again.

Dear friends, I write this to you today on my birthday. I turn 38 today.

It has been a tumultuous year, where I have had to navigate many challenges, but in this moment, right here, right now, I am feeling full, nourished and grateful.

I woke up early this morning for my walk — well, Charlie woke me up early this morning — and I went for a walk on the land. It has been almost a month since we were home, having to tend to work and family. And of course, taking our long awaited honeymoon.

This morning was the first morning I have walked on our land since we have been back from traveling the world. I breathed in the fresh mountain air as I walked to the clothing line in the middle of our field and put on my overalls I had left out in the sun to dry. One of my favorite sensations during my morning walks is to feel the cool, fresh dew on the grass as the sun warms my body and face. That sensation, that duality, invited me this morning to think about what intentions I want to set this year around the sun and I thought, what a great way to come back to my writing, to you, here on this day.

As I walked, my intentions for this birthday year came to mind with each step: Rest, savor, integrate. I recognize that this sounds like a discounted sign in a Marshall’s clearance aisle (or worse on the sale rack at a yoga studio) but it is one that I share to invite you to practice as well.

Rest

I don’t think I realized how tired I was until I finally slept. Often I fool myself into thinking I am fine, having inherited a tremendous amount of resilience from my refugee parents, the spectrum for “fine” is wide and far-reaching. But not until I stopped working, producing, planning, and let my brain and heart rest did I realize just how tired I was. Our time away (among other things) made me realize this. My practice to remind myself to rest moving forward? I added the gospel of Bob Marley to my summer playlist this year.

See we're taking it easy
We're taking it slow
We're taking it easy
Got to take it slow.

Contemplation: In which ways can you make your life more easeful? In which ways, can you slow down?

Savor

If Paris taught me anything (more to come soon on this), it was to savor. When you travel abroad, you are constantly shown how different American life can be from other parts of the world. One point of difference Paris showed me over and over again is through its food. Us Americans, we eat in huge proportions, stacking on more and more cheese, bacon, chocolate on whatever we’re about to gorge ourselves on — to the point that what we’re eating is gluttony, not the food itself. The Parisian restaurants reminded me that a little can go a long way and that insight is such a gift! This sense of savoring, presence, dwelling in abundance is something I will be exploring with my practice this coming year.

Contemplation: How can you savor what’s in front of you in a way that wakes you up?

Integrate

One thing I have learned this past year is that life is full of suffering, but it is our job to hold that suffering, to keep living, to keep finding joy, adventure, and to heal. As humans, it is much easier to ignore difficult feelings (shame, anger, anxiety), situations, people, but they are always there, whether or not you deal with them. And often, when we tend to them, love on them, it makes it a lot easier to hold all of it. We often forget the capacity of our heart, how much it can endure and how much love it can give and carry. But all of this, to me, is the fundamentals of the practice, of Buddhism; it is equanimity, it is the Four Noble Truths, it is the Brahmaviharas; and whether we like it or not, being human means to suffer — to see it, feel it, and figure out how to navigate it all. This year, my commitment to myself is to keep finding ways to tend to my suffering, even if it is a bit at a time.

Contemplation: How can you hold your suffering in a way that will allow you to still access joy and peace?

Just One Breath.

In thinking about my intentions for this year, I have thought much about what I’d like for this newsletter to be moving forward. (Thanks to your feedback in my last post!) Funny enough, I started this newsletter exactly a year ago, on a whim, wanting to connect more to my writing and to my community — to be of service.

My intent with this newsletter was always yes, to be of service, but more specifically, it has been a burning desire to share my insight and practice to help you feel more empowered in the world, a bit lighter and a bit more free.

It is tradition in many Asian countries that on a child’s first birthday you put out a set of items and see what they are drawn to. It is said that whatever item they choose will be their calling, their profession, their life’s work. I chose a pencil all those years ago. And even though I have not always believed it, I have always been and always will be a writer — and I intend to use this skill, this vehicle for good. It is through my writing that I am better able to access the inner workings of my mind and the depths of my heart to more deeply connect with you, right here, right now.

So I’ve decided to rename this newsletter to a cue that has resonated with folks through the years when I have taught meditation:

Bring awareness to the tip of your nose as your take a deep breath.

Feel the cool air coming in with your inhale; and the warm air coming out with your exhale.

What a reminder that transformation is possible in just one breath.

Yes, this fully encompasses my perspective of the world, that even in our smallest moments we are able to create change. In a world where we are often made to feel powerless, this is, to me, is an extraordinary reminder of what power we hold by simply being ourselves.

That to me is not just powerful, but life-changing.

And when I reflect back on the last 38 years of my life, the one thing that has forever changed me is discovering and practicing mindfulness. It has changed my view of the world, how I move through it, and to this day, my experience of it.

So my intention with this newsletter from here on out is to provide you with mindfulness insight and tools — whether that’s a perspective shift, an invitation, or a practice — to remind you of your power, your agency and to remember that we all have the capacity to transform our world, little by little.

In just one breath.

May this power and insight give you peace, ease, and free us all from the suffering of the world.