How to handle election anxiety 😬🤯

Staying in the present moment is the only way we're gonna survive till November

If you’re like me you’ve been reeling since the presidential debate two weeks ago. I couldn’t even bear watching the debate live, already getting flashbacks from last election cycle.

The last two weeks, I’ve been taking extra care of myself, making sure I didn’t go down the same paranoid, anxious spiral I did four years ago.

And then last night happened.

After spending the day reorganizing my kitchen pantry (and putting my phone on Do Not Disturb), my mother-in-law called us to tell us that Trump had been shot. I rushed to my phone to see the now iconic photo of Trump’s defiant fist against the American flag with blood streaking down his face, as the secret service people rushed him off stage.

Anna Money for the Associated Press

I’m still processing what happened last night, as I’m sure most Americans are. But in true American political theatre fashion, we are also watching how this unfolds like a toxic spectator sport. “The Right,” of course, immediately blamed “The Left” for naming him as a threat to democracy, and despite most leading Democratic figures condemning what the FBI is now officially classifying as an official assassination attempt, the Internet is swirling conspiracy theories on both sides. Couple that with the fact that “Civil War” was trending last night on X and the RNC will I’m sure amplify division, it’s no surprise that astrologers are saying this is all a shitshow.

OK, big breaths.

Let’s check in. How’s your heart rate right now? Racing like mine? Has your breath gotten shallow? Yeah, me too.

It’s hard for our bodies and our minds to not be overwhelmed by the intense fog of anxiety when moments like this arise — especially following two weeks of a train wreck that is still the Biden campaign.

First, we saw the Biden campaign dismiss his poor performance, attributing it to a cold, denying that it had anything to do with the fact that he’s 81. Then we watched Biden try to redeem himself during a George Stephanopoulos interview and fail to assuage any fears. Since then, more and more Democrats — elected, party leaders, donors and celebs — have withdrawn their support for him, citing that he cannot and will not beat Donald Trump. Most memorably was George Clooney’s shocking op-ed that ended with, “Joe Biden is a hero; he saved democracy in 2020. We need him to do it again in 2024.”

I have been particularly taken aback by the “resilient” Joe Biden who has emerged in the last two weeks. Suddenly, he’s screaming in every picture, getting more orange, blaming the press instead of naming Trump as a threat of our Democracy, denying he’s running for his ego and his son Hunter (who was recently convicted of three felonies) has been attending strategic campaign meetings — sound familiar?

Like I said, American politics has always been the largest display of public theatre and the world is watching.

Angry old man.

As someone who was a former political communications strategist and has been in storytelling for 15 years, it’s hard not to get angry at the Biden campaign for not managing the “narrative” as we say in the biz. And it’s hard not to get angrier at social media platforms for being a catalyst for division, a megaphone for extremist hate; though in my deepest of hearts I know that these platforms, however toxic, are just a mirror of our nation’s consciousness. And what I do hope and pray for is that we, collectively, break through the shock and horror of it all and actually take a moment to look deeply at the state of our country and how political violence — in whatever shape or form — has increased through the years.

In so many ways, all of it feels overwhelming, unjust, out of our control and cyclical. Just when we think we have a moment to breathe, our collective nervous system is rocked by something else, giving us no time to actually heal and recover from the events before then. This prolific barrage of attacks to our collective nervous system has been ongoing since COVID and instead of looking deeply at its effects on our bodies and our psyches, we have just pulled up our boots and tried to keep going, but it’s all catching up to us now.

So what do we do with ourselves in this moment? And until November?

Are you OK?

When I was in Scotland, once someone realized I was American, they would pause and ask sincerely, “Are you OK?”

I was struck by the question the first, second and third time I was asked. And always answered: “No, but do you want the long or short answer?”

The truth is that we need to talk about the long answer as citizens and as a country if we are ever to heal. I know I’m channeling Marianne Williamson vibes right now, but it’s true.

As a Queer woman of color, I didn’t realize how much high-grade general anxiety I was living in every day until Biden got elected in 2020. The relief I felt was tremendous; a feeling of safety rushed in — one that felt very distant after four years of seeing the Asian community get targeted and attacked. That level of constant anxiety wears down your nervous and respiratory systems. And let us not forget that discrimination and racial targeting is categorized as a form of trauma, one that I have experienced all my life.

Like so many of us, I’m angry right now and I’m scared shitless.

Under the anger is my pulsing fear and anxiety, I — and so many of us are feeling — over the idea of another four years under Trump, which after last night, investors are already expecting a landslide win for him, citing Reagan’s approval rating shooting up after the assassination attempt against him.

Another four years means a transitional plan that will treat immigrants like they’re animals, give him more executive oversight to do as he pleases, including going after his enemies and putting our foreign policy into a tizzy. Not to mention, the frightening potential of Project 2025 which has quietly been looming and emerging. And if he doesn’t win and doesn’t accept the results? What does an insurrection 2.0 look like?

Of course, when I look deeper to see what my anger and anxiety are masking — both individually and collectively — is my deep heartbreak that we live in a world, in a country where my and so many of our livelihoods are at stake in the name of power, in a world where we would rather choose violence again and again over humanity.

In my deepest of my first-gen kid heart, I do hope that one day we will live up to our namesake of being the Land of the Free instead of living in a country that upholds the false notions of a meritocracy and that we will be free from these systems that shackle us to choose between one old white, orange angry guy and another old white, orange angry guy.

But the one advantage we have, as a nation, as humans is that we’ve kinda been through this before. This ain’t our first rodeo. As wild as that may sound, it’s a good time to remember that we’ve got a leg up from the last four years, which means we can plan and take care of ourselves even if the country is dissolving before our eyes.

So my invitation to you is to contemplate:

How can we learn from our suffering and find ways to ground us in this moment? And every moment till November?

I’ve learned a lot from my past experience in politics on how to stay sane, but more so as a mindfulness teacher. Here are some ways I’m moving through this moment right now to stay grounded and centered. I hope it is of benefit to you as well:

• Limiting my media consumption. I’m off social these days (with the exception of posting to my Substack) and I really only check the news in the morning and at the end of my work day. I still check first thing when I wake up, which is something I’m trying to shake but I make it a point to have some time and space between reading the latest headlines and going to sleep. Shocking your nervous system like that will put you off kilter for the rest of the day and narrow your window of tolerance, making normal tasks feel more challenging. So if you’re finding that you’ve been scrolling for hours and your forearm is cramping, put your phone away, on do not disturb — or better yet, turn it off for a bit. And my contemplation for you here is: How much time do I want media consumption to be taking up my life right now? Answer that and time block it on your calendar. Seriously, try it. It has made the world of a difference for me. Just asking the question of how conscious you are of your media consumption is a good first step in redefining your relationship with it on your own terms — and in a mindful way.

• Staying present. Of course, the mindfulness teacher said. But in these moments this is when the practice can be life-changing and saving. We can’t control much other than our actions and thoughts and constantly thinking about what ifs, and worrying about the future won’t help. Next time you find yourself spinning, ask yourself: What can I do to be in the present in this moment? Take a deep breath. Breathe in, I am here. Breathe out, right here right now. Now, do it again. Keep doing that with longer breaths until you feel grounded in your body. Remember just one breath can transform your world.

• Prioritizing self-care and joy. Yeah, I know I sound like a Hallmark card but this is vital. Your mind and body deserve to focus on an emotion other than your fear and anxiety. So be sure to rest, meditate, take that extra time, take that extra care right now. Because it will matter in the short and long term. Make space for what brings you joy and then do it. So next time the world feels like it’s burning to the ground, ask: What can I do in this moment to feel more nourished? What can I do in this moment to lighten the weight of my heart? Or as my dear teacher Kaira Jewel always asks, what’s not going wrong?

• Being in my body and nature as much as I can. The natural rhythms of Mother Earth will help you heal. And yes, that’s some hippie-loving shit but it’s also scientifically proven that being in nature can improve your mental health. (Remember we are all mammals after all.) So walk barefoot in the grass, hug a tree, or just let the sun shine on you. Whatever you need to do to get in your body — do yoga, lie on the floor, take a bath. See where your fear and anxiety show up in your body. It won’t be obvious right away but just start noticing, just start being curious about it. That physical cue will help you from the outside, in. And keep asking yourself: What can I do in this moment to get more grounded in my body? How can I reconnect with nature and myself right now?

• Getting involved. Put that anxiety to work. Remember energy cannot be created or destroyed, just transformed. Volunteer for a local elected official you believe in, raise money to help Palestine, mentor a young person, build a house for someone, serve food at a soup kitchen, go pick up trash. Literally. Go do anything to move that energy around. Seeing your that actions — no matter how small — have an impact will help. Also research shows helping others increases our overall level of happiness, not to mention gaining the perspective that your life isn’t so bad, despite the world around you can give you the spaciousness to not feel like the world is closing in on you. So ask yourself: What can I do to make the world a little bit better right now?

I’d love to know how you’re doing right now — and more importantly, what you’re doing to take good care of yourself during this time. Remember, it’s only July and we gotta make it to November.

So please take good care, for yourself, for us, for our country, for democracy.